I woke up that morning feeling slightly unwell with my running nose started to annoy me. I had a small ulcer in my mouth that hurt like hell when I brushed my teeth. Apart from that, it seemed like it’s going to be a normal Thursday morning.
It was until my phone rang at the very early of the hour and immediately I had this sudden uncanny feeling about it. My eldest brother called from Seberang Jaya Hospital. He told me that dad had been in the emergency room over a heart failure since about 2 hours ago and asked me to come over as soon as possible. I was devastated and prayed that everything would be fine.
Dad had been complaining about how tired he was recently except that a few days back, he went for his regular medical checkup and the doctor said that he was in a good shape. Dad was warded 2 years ago due to a mild heart attack and diagnosed of pre-diabetes to add up to the list but above all that, he was doing fine.
I drove all the way to hospital with tears in my eyes.
By the time I reached there, his heart had stopped beating. From a small room opposite the treatment room, I watched the doctors and medical staffs trying hard to bring him back. My heart sank. All I wished for that very moment was him to wake up and spare another day with his family.
He didn’t make it that day.
It was all of sudden, out of expectation. I never saw it coming. Being the closest son to him among the others, his loss is almost unbearable for me. Till this day, I am still trying to face the fact that he had gone forever from my life. He was around after all this years, from the first moment I stepped into this world until the day he no longer breathed, and I was there for him. Now, he is no longer around.
It was the saddest moments of my life.
Dad was supposed to retire about a year ago. Instead, he signed another 2 years contract with his company although I told him that he should have settled down and enjoyed his retirement years at home. He told us that he was saving extra money for Hajj and it’s going to be only for couple of years only.
Three days after, I went to his workplace to settle everything up with his employer. I checked his work desk and found a nicely sealed brown envelope placed inside one of the drawers. I tore the seal off and unfolded a piece of undated hand written letter.
It was a letter of resignation.
Tears rolled in my eyes as I read from words to words. He had planned to give up his contract earlier than expected, by the end of next month. He told me about it recently because he thought that he had enough with working and should be spending more time with his family especially the only beloved grandchild he had, but fate has its own way on everything. God knows best.
One thing I miss the most is his smile. No matter how difficult or stressful it was, he never showed it out, especially to his family. He would never let us down.
I could clearly remember the day I received an offer letter from UKM to further my studies in engineering. I was so happy and even happier when I found out that all my best friends had also made through. I told the good news to dad.
“I am happy for you, but I afraid that I can’t afford it. Would you consider of taking form 6 instead?”
He said it softly, at the same time a heartbreaking to hear it from him but I said that I didn’t mind about it. I cried myself to sleep that night but I said nothing about how disappointed I was to him because I knew that he worked so hard and never complained. His earnings as a lorry driver might not be enough to support my studies at university and at the same time he had 7 other family members to take care of.
A few days after, he came to me and said, “You are going to the university. I am going to pay you. Don’t worry.”
It was the happiest day ever but I wondered how he pulled everything off, against all odds. Later, I found out from mom that he managed to borrow some money from a few friends at workplace and a moneylender (or local people here known as Chettiar) and he even took a part time job on the night shift at a sugar factory near his workplace. Still, he never complained.
That’s the one and only, selfless and dedicated dad I knew my entire life.
So we went to KL for the first time in my life by train, in an economy class coach. There were too many passengers that day that we ended up sleeping on the aisle with some other passengers throughout the 9 hours journey because all the seats were fully occupied. It was the one of those memorable moments I cherished to this day.
Every time the memory comes back, I feel blessed and fortunate to have him as my dad. My love for him runs deeper and I respect him more and more every day. I might not end up being the richest or most successful person today but I hope I’ve made him proud enough. He is a loss I can’t replace.
Goodbye and love you, dad.
Now that you’re gone, I’ll be missing you on every single day of my life.
It was until my phone rang at the very early of the hour and immediately I had this sudden uncanny feeling about it. My eldest brother called from Seberang Jaya Hospital. He told me that dad had been in the emergency room over a heart failure since about 2 hours ago and asked me to come over as soon as possible. I was devastated and prayed that everything would be fine.
Dad had been complaining about how tired he was recently except that a few days back, he went for his regular medical checkup and the doctor said that he was in a good shape. Dad was warded 2 years ago due to a mild heart attack and diagnosed of pre-diabetes to add up to the list but above all that, he was doing fine.
I drove all the way to hospital with tears in my eyes.
By the time I reached there, his heart had stopped beating. From a small room opposite the treatment room, I watched the doctors and medical staffs trying hard to bring him back. My heart sank. All I wished for that very moment was him to wake up and spare another day with his family.
He didn’t make it that day.
It was all of sudden, out of expectation. I never saw it coming. Being the closest son to him among the others, his loss is almost unbearable for me. Till this day, I am still trying to face the fact that he had gone forever from my life. He was around after all this years, from the first moment I stepped into this world until the day he no longer breathed, and I was there for him. Now, he is no longer around.
It was the saddest moments of my life.
Dad was supposed to retire about a year ago. Instead, he signed another 2 years contract with his company although I told him that he should have settled down and enjoyed his retirement years at home. He told us that he was saving extra money for Hajj and it’s going to be only for couple of years only.
Three days after, I went to his workplace to settle everything up with his employer. I checked his work desk and found a nicely sealed brown envelope placed inside one of the drawers. I tore the seal off and unfolded a piece of undated hand written letter.
It was a letter of resignation.
Tears rolled in my eyes as I read from words to words. He had planned to give up his contract earlier than expected, by the end of next month. He told me about it recently because he thought that he had enough with working and should be spending more time with his family especially the only beloved grandchild he had, but fate has its own way on everything. God knows best.
One thing I miss the most is his smile. No matter how difficult or stressful it was, he never showed it out, especially to his family. He would never let us down.
I could clearly remember the day I received an offer letter from UKM to further my studies in engineering. I was so happy and even happier when I found out that all my best friends had also made through. I told the good news to dad.
“I am happy for you, but I afraid that I can’t afford it. Would you consider of taking form 6 instead?”
He said it softly, at the same time a heartbreaking to hear it from him but I said that I didn’t mind about it. I cried myself to sleep that night but I said nothing about how disappointed I was to him because I knew that he worked so hard and never complained. His earnings as a lorry driver might not be enough to support my studies at university and at the same time he had 7 other family members to take care of.
A few days after, he came to me and said, “You are going to the university. I am going to pay you. Don’t worry.”
It was the happiest day ever but I wondered how he pulled everything off, against all odds. Later, I found out from mom that he managed to borrow some money from a few friends at workplace and a moneylender (or local people here known as Chettiar) and he even took a part time job on the night shift at a sugar factory near his workplace. Still, he never complained.
That’s the one and only, selfless and dedicated dad I knew my entire life.
So we went to KL for the first time in my life by train, in an economy class coach. There were too many passengers that day that we ended up sleeping on the aisle with some other passengers throughout the 9 hours journey because all the seats were fully occupied. It was the one of those memorable moments I cherished to this day.
Every time the memory comes back, I feel blessed and fortunate to have him as my dad. My love for him runs deeper and I respect him more and more every day. I might not end up being the richest or most successful person today but I hope I’ve made him proud enough. He is a loss I can’t replace.
Goodbye and love you, dad.
Now that you’re gone, I’ll be missing you on every single day of my life.
